Trust You

Sometimes I wish I could erase the past... That I could change, shape and create my world, my life. But the longer I live and the more I see, the more relieved I am that I am not in charge.
Trying to control things is slowly killing me. Hoping, wishing, trying so hard to make everything always work. Never willing to just call it quits, because where I invest myself becomes my life. My friends, family, work. But. I'm not in control. And sometimes, I think I'm actually fighting God. Not just that, but I see... If I wait long enough, whether that is a year, a decade, ten days or a night of crying, I never would have wanted my way.
Not seeing full pictures, only seeing the parts you know, screws with truth. It skews perspectives, and causes hope to be placed in all the wrong places.
Another thing I'm learning, he is the only one who will never disappoint. He never fails, and everyone else, everything else, even myself, will.
Life is hard. But I'm not as crazy as I've thought. I just have to trust the One who made me first, and trust everyone else to be filtered through Him. Because He's truly the only One who is trustworthy.