Such is Life

Whoa... so, the last couple weeks have been really something. With my mom having a new almost full time job at Costco, and it almost perfectly coinciding in timing with me starting to work for the cleaning agency again, you could say things have been a bit...hectic.

For instance, I'm not sure what day it is. ;)

Last week I babysat Rory on Monday, all three boys on Tuesday with John, all the boys Wednesday without John (i guess I have to let him work too, sadly), cleaned 6 hours on Thursday and then picked up my brother at midnight at the airport, cleaned 6 more hours on Friday, came home and watched the kids while mom worked, crashed, woke up and went shopping with my mom and siblings at a craft fair, spent the day with the family and then headed out to Florence to babysit overnight. Sunday morning I drove home, got ready and picked up my little brother to go to Three Forks, 3 hours to my amazing boyfriend where I spent an hour before leaving Isaac there and bringing Joey home with me...
Monday at 6:45 we were off to the bus station to send Joseph home for Thanksgiving and home again by 7:20 just as the first of the toddlers was getting dropped off. All day with my boys, getting my new license, meeting LuJuana to swap cleaning materials, realizing I had almost ran my car out of oil again, taking my sis in law and niece grocery shopping, getting all the supplies so my brilliant, thoughtful boyfriend can teach me how to change my oil when he gets back from stupid eastern Montana, and then heading BACK out to Florence to babysit overnight again. Seriously. And that's not all ;).

The parents were late getting back this morning, by an hour, so I was late picking up Fischer from my cousins, and the mom's were already at the house with the other two by the time I made it into town.

Since then, we have been drinking lots of coffee, eating cheerios and watching Garfield. I like busy, but I think I forget where the thin line is between busy and overload ;).

Thankfully, it's almost Wednesday (I think?), which is my last work day till next week, John will be home, and it will be thanksgiving... I hope to do a lot of movie watching while sleeping with my head on my man's shoulder, thankful for so much :).

Such big holiday plans, I know. But right now, nothing sounds better!

A couple other little tidbits- I am thankful that the horrible rattle my car was making was simply a lack of oil, even though it is horrifying that I was that close to negligent stupidity again.
I'm also thankful for John, and his adorable comment when I told him what I did... "Babe, see! You didn't even need my help, you ARE a mechanic after all, you figured it out and fixed it all on your own!".

And that's just a tiny example of how sweet he is to me... Seriously, I don't think anyone has a better or more supportive boyfriend than me. He makes my world 100 times better, daily, in so many ways. I'm very, very blessed.

Anyways, I have again found a deep, intense renewal of my appreciation for busy, busy mothers... I'm always impressed, but times like these... well, I suppose it's self explanatory ;).

Happy couple days before Thanksgiving everyone!!

Bring me back...

I am so incredibly thankful. Thankful for passing time and the lessons that are learned as it passes, and for the work and change He does through it. So thankful for His steadfast love and guidance, and for His intense faithfulness to always bring me back. Especially for that.

I have been stunned into tears multiple times lately with realizations of what He has done and been doing. It hit me again today- a year ago, I was in a whole different world, rebelling against Him, ignoring Him, ignoring my sins and so lost and numb that I barely cared... yet, see what He did. See what He's done.

I sat down at my piano and really started playing it for the first time in years the other day. I couldn't place why I was getting choked up, but kept playing at it anyway, working my way through a song John has been playing and singing on his guitar lately. Once I felt satisfied I could pick it out well enough to sing along to, I started in on the words... but didn't make it through the first verse before the tears started falling. It took me a few tries of singing it, falling apart at the same place each time, before I realized I was crying in thankfulness and amazement.

The words were,

Sometimes I find it hard to praise,
Or to trust in Your ways,
Sometimes I feel like I never knew Ya.
Saddened I try again,
Seems like I never win,
Yet You bring me back to Hallelujah.

He DOES. Not once has He failed, through all my failing, through all my mistakes, through all my sin and rebellion, He always has brought me back. He not only brought me back to Him, but to Hallelujah... brought me back singing, Hallelujah, praising and desiring again to glorify Him.

I am honestly so blessed, I wish I could express it.

Thou shalt be called...

" Behold, the Lord hath proclaimed unto the end of the world, Say ye to the daughter of Zion, Behold, thy salvation cometh; behold, his reward is with him, and his work before him.

 And they shall call them, The holy people, The redeemed of the Lord: and thou shalt be called, Sought out, A city not forsaken."

 

Lately, I am overwhelmed with how much He loves me... how much He cares. How long and how diligently he has worked just with me and my life so far, and how I am a lifelong project to Him. How I am His.

 

How He looks at me, when He knows me so well... knowing not just every detail of what I've done and how and when, but also why and what my thoughts were. Still He calls me His, and His beloved, the one He loves.

 

All the things I struggle with, the things I am afraid of even though He asks them, disappear in this view. I want it that way, always.