Love

This is making my heart overflow.

no no no.

Two more days of work and then it's Saturday.

Saturday morning I get on a plane in SeaTac airport and fly east to snowy zoo-town.

From Saturday at 12:47 to Sunday of the following week at 7:20, I will need every ounce of energy possible to fully enjoy my family and give them everything I've got, helping my mom with all the Christmas fun.

So no, I cannot be getting sick right now. End of story.

Lately

Since coming home...

Days with crazy kidos

Loving being home with other crazy kidos

Non-vacation

6 am, I roll out of bed, put my contacts on in the dark (try it- I'm impressive), try quietly to grab my clothes I set out the night before and put them on, still in the dark. After grabbing my shoes, phone and purse, and picking up the multiple things I knock over in my failed attempts at silence and stealth, I leave my unmade, messy bed and head down the hall to say good morning to one of the sweetest girls and share the bathroom mirror while Kat and I do our makeup and talk for a few minutes. After rushing to make my hair look less like bed head and more like messy hair, I grab my coffee cup and say good morning to Wes and goodbye to Kat, and then listen to music for a half hour on my way to work, where all the fun starts.
Mason is grumpy. Reagan is sassy. Everyone is insanely tired because nobody ever sleeps through the night. As soon as I walk through the door it's time to start on breakfast, which goes something like this- "Reagan, do you want a bagel and yogurt?" Reagan zoning out at the tv. "Reagan, do you want a bagel and yogurt?" Reagan looks at Mason and starts yelling at him for some unknown reason. "Okay Reagan, don't yell at your brother. I'm making you a bagel for breakfast."
"I ALREADY TOLD YOU!!! STOP TALKING!!"
So then we go through our very common talk again about not telling me what to do and not being in charge while I make breakfast for them, which she will take forever to eat and he won't eat at all.
At about 7:30 I pick him up and take his screaming, kicking body to the bath, telling her to eat quickly on my way out of the room. We then quickly scrub him clean before he can pee in the water and listen to him cry because he has to get in, and then cry and hit me because he has to get out. Reagan joins us shortly, usually carrying half her breakfast which causes another argument with the oddly necessary explanation of why it's not allowed to eat in the bath. After causing another grumpy, sassy session, she gets in and I wrestle him out, dry him off and get him dressed while he kicks me, and then do the whole thing again with his sister. Except we also have to comb her hair.
At this point we are always almost late, so we rush through brushing teeth, hold Mason down while he screams, and then I rush around getting his blanket, juice, snacks, backpack and my purse. I finally get them in their coats and shoes after another couple tantrums and arguments and we get out to the car, where we fight again to get in the car seats. She wants to turn on the light, she wants to take off her coat, she wants to buckle herself, she wants to go through his door.... She wants a snack. "Reagan. Sit down, right now, on your bottom, and let me buckle you."
"SHUT UP!!! ENNNNNH!!! STOP!"
So, again. Who's in charge. You cant talk like that, you aren't an adult, and you're behaving inappropriately. Get her buckled, fight mason into the car, climb in the drivers seat and realize I don't have the key. Run back inside and grab it, get a look from Mr. and a mumbled comment because we are now at 8:08 and needing to leave by 8:00, and rush back out again to find them yelling at each other and him throwing all his things. I pick up his cup and blanket and head out, pausing to shut the garage door now that I've gotten in trouble for leaving it open, and we drive to school. She provokes him the whole way there, and answers every question I ask him, he throws his cup and blanket on the floor and then cries when I can't pick them up.
By the time we get to school, they are both ready to get out of the car, I collect all her things and argue with her over her carrying them, about have a heart attack over Mason trying to run away from me into the busy parking lot, and then we all go inside and LEAVE HER THERE.
Mason and I then head back home...
And it's only 8:30. I still have another 8 and a half hours left.
I think I get why I miss California so much. I am so insanely glad it's Friday.
To be fair, they can be sweet. I do get kisses and hugs, and we sometimes play for a full five minutes without a fight or argument. There are better days... But this week hasn't really had any.

Glass

Trying to live and love,
With a heart that can't be broken,
Is like trying to see the light with eyes that can't be opened.
Yeah, we both carry baggage,
We picked up on our way, so if you love me do it gently,
And I will do the same.

We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass.

I'll let you look inside me, through the stains and through the cracks,
And in the darkness of this moment,
You see the good and bad.
But try not to judge me, 'cause we've walked down different paths,
But it brought us here together, so I won't take that back.

We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.

We might be oil and water, this could be a big mistake,
We might burn like gasoline and fire,
It's a chance we'll have to take.

We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
And we are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
We are glass.

I want to hear.

I am madly in love with you... You are my favorite, favorite thing.

Sweetest. From "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World"