Let Go

I have a huge family. I know that there will always be someone I love that has problems I wish I could fix. But I can't, and as He said so clearly to me the other day, it's time to focus on Him alone. At times, it is very hard to just simply put down my hands and trust Him.

To stop fixing, and worrying... to give up on bossing, helping, directing or advising. I do it because I "care". Yet, sitting in the car bawling the other day with John, it was very clear that my care should be getting me on my knees. That is the only action my care should take me to.
It always comes down to trust- do I have to be their savior, or do I trust Him to be their Savior? And pride obviously... why do I think I can help them with their splinters when I'm overwhelmed by my beam?

I know I cannot be what they need, and the He is what we all need. That I need only to be with Him, just like them. And I can't do that for them.

I can't put into words what has cracked open in my heart the last few days, but I keep coming back to the clean simplicity that is in Him. He's amazing and good, and has a spectacular plan. He is the only Savior. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus...

All

The only thing that matters, in the end, and also in the beginning, middle and any other part of my life, is whether I have known the Lord... really known Him, loved Him, been with Him.

So many distractions, useless, meaningless distractions.

I am really encouraged to throw all of my heart, emotions, actions and thoughts into Him again... No more worries, or anxieties, or striving, or fixing.

Just Him.

The Law of Kindness

"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him"

"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."

Today is two years.

Most of the time now, it doesn't seem like a big deal anymore. Sometimes though, I remember something, or one of my family members says something, and I realize again how miraculous where I am is, thanks to my Shepherd. It is past, and my heart is happy now in Him and the healing He has accomplished, so there really isn't anything to say about it except, I am so, so, so thankful for Him. His plans really are best.

On another note, it's a new year. A time to reflect and think about what has happened, changes, good and bad, and lessons learned. Looking over the last year, one thing stands out more than anything else, a lesson I want to learn deep into my being, a truth and action I want to be a part of me. 

Love.

Every conflict, every hurt, every desire, every act- be filled with love. Every word, every look, every gesture... every thought. 

I want to dwell in love.

And why not? Why can't, like the verse at the top says, my mouth open with wisdom and the law of kindness guide my tongue?  It's been coursing through my mind daily lately, every time a new situation happens, and I find myself asking these questions. 

I don't know much, and I fail way too often... But I do know this- it all rights itself and I can dwell in love when I dwell in Him and His love for me. That is what I want to change, more than anything else, this year.