Incline Your Ear

I was praying tonight, just talking... and the line from the Little Mermaid song kept repeating itself in my head (weird, I know)... "I want more..."
Unlike Ariel, I was thinking, I want more of Him in my life.
I immediately started thinking about what all I can do and change to try and make that happen, but when I opened my bible, I kinda stopped...

"Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.
Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness.
Incline your ear, and come unto me: hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of David.
Behold, I have given him for a witness to the people, a leader and commander to the people. Behold, thou shalt call a nation that thou knowest not, and nations that knew not thee shall run unto thee because of the Lord thy God, and for the Holy One of Israel; for he hath glorified thee.
Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord . For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off."

I love how simple and straightforward the Lord is with us. We expect Him to play mind games because that is what so many people do. But not Him.
All I heard tonight from Him was the same thing He's been saying to me for months... Here I am, just come to Me. Don't stop coming to Me, come more, and often, and listen. Spend time with Me, and I will lead you and right everything wrong in you. Let ME make the crooked things straight. You just come to Me.
I think I have only the smallest idea of how intensely perfect and good and holy our God really is.

Healthness

I know it isn't a real word. I like it anyway ;).

Over the last 6 years or so, my immune system has been kinda funny. I don't know exactly what it's problem is, but I told a friend today- It reminds me of a little kid that gets knocked down and then throws a tantrum, kicking and screaming on the ground, refusing to get back up.
I probably have an overactive imagination, but it is a good description;).
Case in point, I've been sick since July. Not a steady, severe sick, but an up and down, sometimes bad, most of the time functional, not so well. Definitely continually congested and coughing for the last THREE MONTHS. Plus, I've now caught a new sickness this week (who knows what), and I'm on my 3rd cold sore in those three months.
That, to me, says immune system tantrum.
Sooo... I thought about throwing my own tantrum back..I kinda did the other day when I realized I was getting another cold sore (I LOATHE cold sores). I'm stubborn, but not stupid, so I decided it won't help, and instead decided to give it a good beating. My bad immune system I mean.
Juicing, tinctures, vitamins, herbal supplements, garlic... here we go :). I love this health stuff, I just hate doing it. Haha. Wish me luck! I'm sick of being sick.

He is my Always.

I can say it's all okay... That it will work out. I can hope that it will. I do trust that all of these issues, all the relationships that seem to be broken or diseased right now, will be resolved and healed, because we are all His children, and that IS His will. I KNOW He loves me, and them... He adores each one of us.

But something I've realized tonight, knowing all of that, believing it, trusting Him... That doesn't mean He doesn't care about how all of this feels.

I am so human. So faulty. I open my mouth, or take a step, and it is bound to be somewhat defective or damaging in some way. It always is. I know that He holds me, loves me, and is changing and growing me daily, and so it's not in despair that I'm saying this. It's just pain for what being imperfect does to my life and those I love. And I am so, so sorry for that.

I know everyone has experienced a moment where you deeply regret how things went down... How you didn't know until after the fact what a choice would do to your relationship. How, once you've hurt someone, intentionally or otherwise, do you manage to tell them that you love them so much you never meant to hurt them? It KILLS. Between me having my faults and everyone else having theirs, I don't know how any of us stand a chance with each other.

That's what I see and feel tonight... like I told one of my dearest friends recently, tears have been coming out of this pudgy little face a lot lately. I know it's true- we don't stand a chance with each other, and seeing that in action, knowing we are hurting each other, is painful in so many aspects. The world and everything in it seems to be in a constant state of self destruct- because it is.

But He is not. I've seen miracles over and over in my life, and this is not the end, no matter how bad it feels or looks. That, along with His comforting hand every day, the knowledge of His mercy and love over us, is what keeps me afloat. The feelings of pain will pass along with the situation, but He... He will always be here.

Finding His Open Arms

You never change, You are the God
You say You are 
When I'm afraid You calm and still my beating heart 
You stay the same, when hope is just a distant thought 
You take my pain 
And You lead me to the cross 

What love is this, that You gave Your life for me 
And made a way for me to know You 
And I confess You're always enough for me 
You're all I need I look to You 

I see the scars upon Your hands 
And hold the truth 
That when I can't You always can 
I'm standing here beneath the shadow of the cross,
I'm overwhelmed that
I Keep finding open arms 

No work, all Trust...

Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.
Romans 4:4-5

It isn't me that works, but just me that trusts... Lord help me.

My thoughts today...

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love, 
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on His hands, 
My name is written on His heart; 
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair, 
And tells me of the guilt within, 
Upward I look, and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin.

Because the sinless Savior died, 
My sinful soul is counted free; 
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Praise the One, Risen Son of God! 

Behold Him there, the Risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness, 
The great unchangeable I am, 
The King of glory and of grace! 

One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high, 
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God

Words to be changed by.

What I read today... Really hit home. It is so easy to apply what the Lord shows me instantly to everyone else... But He said it to me, so to me it applies.

Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace. 

From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.  

Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. 

Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge. There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?