Oh wow...

Sometimes, we just don't know what we need until it flies out of nowhere and hits you in the face. 

I'm more and more positive that the Lord not only likes to surprise me by meeting my needs, He also loves to shock me with the meeting by it being something I didn't even know was a need. 

Because He loves to show His love in comparison to my humanity... And I'm so insanely thankful tonight.

Passing....

At last I can see, life has been patiently waiting for me, and I know, there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone.

There comes a time, in everyone's life, where all they can see are the years passing by. And I have made up my mind that those days are gone.

The song remembers when.

I was standin' at the counter
I was waitin' for the change
When I heard that old familiar music start
It was like a lighted match
Had been tossed into my soul
It was like a dam had broken in my heart

After taking ev'ry detour
Gettin' lost and losin' track
So that even if I wanted
I could not find my way back
After drivin' out the mem'ry
Of the way things might have been
After I'd forgotten all about us
The song remembers when

We were rolling through the Rockies
We were up above the clouds
When a station out of Jackson played that song
And it seemed to fit the moment
And the moment seemed to freeze
When we turned the music up and sang along

And there was a God in Heaven
And the world made perfect sense
We were young and were in love
And we were easy to convince
We were headed straight for Eden
It was just around the bend
And though I have forgotten all about it
The song remembers when

I guess somethin' must have happened
And we must have said goodbye
And my heart must have been broken
Though I can't recall just why
The song remembers when

Well, for all the miles between us
And for all the time that's passed
You would think I haven't gotten very far
And I hope my hasty heart
Will forgive me just this once
If I stop to wonder how on earth you are

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtrackin'
Around corners I have turned
Still I guess some things we bury
Are just bound to rise again
For even if the whole world has forgotten
The song remembers when

Yeah, and even if the whole world has forgotten
The song remembers when

Be still my heart.

We spent the weekend in California. Guess what? I still love that place. If I had any job potential there, I would be very tempted... I suppose that is why I keep telling the Lord that I will take any door he opens, and wishing he would open that one particularly ;).

Well Lord... Now what?

My eyes are open, and so is my heart. Whatever and whenever You want to change, direct, open or close doors, I'm on board to just go. Not just willing- I truly want to.

I wonder sometimes if that is why He waits to changes things- He knows I'm not quite ready, even when I think I am. He's so patient, and more. 

He doesn't just wait for me to change on my own, but brings life along to change me, and is directly involved. He meticulously monitors it all infinitely closer than any brain surgeon performing a surgery on his most valued loved one. 

I, being oblivious to that most of the time, am as much a clumsy spiritual walker as a I am a physical one. He is so patient... And as He daily opens my eyes to things I didn't know, I'm ever more thankful. 

Now it's just, "now what?". And already asking Him for patience to wait for his answer.