i already know.

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? -Micah 6:8

Confession time. Lately I've been very self consumed... Just get that right out there. Thoughts of panic and anxiety, "what the heck am I going to do with my life", "where am I going", "what's in my future" and similar questions have been bombarding me to a ridiculous extent. I haven't been completely blind to it... the problem was definitely recognizable, but I've been doing the usual- try to fix it, make it worse. And believe me, it gets worse. It moves on to, "you have no skills", "you should improve yourself", "you're wasting time", "you won't get anywhere...". I should have known it was a very bad thought trail as soon as I started losing any peace. Anxiety never equals God. But I forgot, and what I didn't forget, I didn't fully remember.
Until today... it finally hit home. I can't fix this; all my worries? Irrelevant. I'm not my own. "My" future? No such thing. I've been bought with a price, and I belong to someone else. Im His bondservant. What does that mean, for right now, for me? What should I be doing with myself? I admit, I'm out of my comfort zone. I didn't even realize I would be. In my last home, I had my job to go to almost daily, my family to always spend time with, my mom always accepting and thankful for any help with the kids, chores always available to do, neighbor kids ever happy to do anything. It's different here. I have a job... and friends, for sure. But I am having the hardest time FILLING my time with constructive activities! I feel lazy, and my abundance of free time is causing me to waste time, thinking and and doing nothing. It really isn't a good thing. So argues my mind... Because obviously I can't just fill my time with Him. Ummm.
Of course I can. I can do whatever He chooses, whenever He chooses. And I know if I'm willing, there is plenty to do. It just may seem very insignificant to yours truly. But I keep forgetting, I belong to HIM. So if I can trust my future to Him, can't I trust my present to Him too? I know every day, He's given me a job to do. I already know... He already showed me. Seek Him, find Him, walk with Him. Do whatever He brings my way, and do it unto Him.
Truthfully, I know all of this is stemming from pride. There is a fear in me that what the Lord is calling me to right now is stupid, to me and to everyone else. What if He doesn't give me anything to do that I consider worthwhile? There it is again- I don't exist, so it doesn't matter anymore. And the best part is, He does exist. He is in charge, He has a plan, and if I will let Him, He'll even accomplish it.
And that's that. I know what will happen... I know what He wants. Me. Me to walk with Him. Actually, that makes me really happy. I've seen how amazing life can be, if I would just do it. It's pretty simple really.
Another thing that is more of a side note: I also know He loves me, and even though I have been bought with a price and I am not my own, I fully believe and trust that His plans are wonderful. I just know that my job is not to worry about that, it's only to seek after Him and walk by His side, letting go of everything and casting all my cares on Him. I know He cares, and He really wants to be my Father. I want Him to be.
So that is where this comes in.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.