One of those moments

I just have to say- I love my mother. It may seem like that's random, but I'm serious. She is legitimately the best.
Lately I've been struggling, I'll be honest. I've said it before, but I tend to repeat myself. I realized this morning though, praying and talking, mostly to God and myself, that life is good and HE is good. Honestly, I forget how much he has done and taught me.
So often I am just like the Israelites and let my mind and fears take me over. He is unbelievably faithful. The truth is, he is always changing and refining me, if I will let him. And he has changed me. It's easy to forget sometimes that I am not just wandering aimlessly through life, I'm walking with GOD. And he has a purpose. I've been re-inspired this last week to stop fighting and trust completely. To really give up. I know I've said it before, but unfortunately I really forget... Someday I hope I quit learning such painful lessons numerous times and that just once is sufficient.
My inspiration and current struggle is probably something everyone struggles with. I like to think I'm normal anyway. I become so easily self consumed and fretful about my future, my life, that I totally lose sight of the Lord and his faithfulness. He is truly faithful, because he always reminds me. But I realize how much time I waste and how much pain I cause myself by doing this... It's pitiful. The truth is, God has wonderful plans, and He loves his people. I'm his daughter, and he loves me. I know that as I trust him and seek to honor him daily, he holds my future. And hopefully that means I can be at rest in him again.
Such a stupid girl to mess up so much. I'm ebarassed, but you know, I'm learning. He can fix even this particular stupid girl. I'm so happy to love God... So happy he loves me. The verse I've thought of a lot lately is one that never gets old... "... For I have learned, in whatever state I am, therewith to be content." I have learned it, and I'm learning it now, and I'll probably learn it again. And I'm okay with that, it's the BEST thing in the world to be content with only God.
Now if only I would stop forgetting that!