Remembering

Past mistakes won't go away,
Bleached into being, permanent stain.
Forgetfulness, not ignorance,
Numb, but not immune.
Cold, attempted indifference-
Admitting any fear or hurt
Provoke torrential floods
Impossible to take.

Life tears through barricades
Cruel, uncaring, unaffected by overwhelming pain.
Tears, confusion, anger-
Touches its sympathies in
Not a single way.
It just keeps going on.

Places, people, always seeing,
Firsts he never should have had.
Wishing to forever just avoid them,
The anything but subtle stabs at
Scars and unhealed wounds still there.
Blame, disgust with choices made,
Remembering with pure regret.
Broken, bruised and bloody,
Wishing healing came more quickly.

Salted wounds refuse to fester,
Knowing, life and truth accepted.
Adequately despised, vehemently hated.
It all comes in time with
Mis set bones rebroken.
Desperately ignoring memories,
Careful efforts made to swaddle self,
To easily forget and never be reminded.

But better truth to come and face it,
To see and know and heal from there.
Moving on from what is real,
Better there than from nowhere.
Better to move on.